By my math it has been over month since we last posted on this website.  Surely you have spent the majority of this time impatiently refreshing the page, losing sleep, and probably not even leaving your house for fear that you might miss the next tale from The Upstate Under Your Nose.  This is an unhealthy way to live and we sincerely apologize for your suffering.

What can we do to make it up to you?

I suppose we will start with an explanation… we were abducted by aliens.  Seriously, Chris and I were on a hike minding our own business and all of a sudden there was a huge flash of light and we were sucked into a strange alien space craft.  We were surrounded by little green men that do not look anything like the sketches people in trailer parks describe when they get abducted.  These guys looked more or less like us but with extra thumbs and less hair. Call it evolution, if you will.

Most importantly, they did not do all the weird testing on us that you always hear about on the news.  Instead of blood tests and anal probes they really just wanted to hang out, listen to music and drink beer.  They were actually a cool bunch of folks enjoying their alien version of spring break so we were happy to spend their vacation with them even if it came at the cost of neglecting the blog for a bit.  One of the alien ladies actually wanted to mate with me and I almost had Chris talked into granting me a hall pass but ultimately she decided that we probably cannot afford the child support on illegitimate alien love children.  

Or maybe our just laptop died and we were too busy with other parts of life to get it fixed in a timely manner.  In either case, things are mostly back to normal now so we want to give you a quick update on what we have been up to and what we might be talking about soon…

  • It has been a month and a half since we saw Danielle Howle and Bret Mosley at Smiley’s Acoustic Cafe but at some point we still want to tell you all about them.  In the meantime, we just want to say thanks to them both for putting on an amazing show. 

  • Obviously winter is over and I have a major itch to get out into the woods.  Table Rock State Park just opened a new trail which means I can no longer claim to have hiked every trail in the park.  I hope to remedy this as soon as possible.

  • Speaking of concerts, Jack White will be at The Orange Peel May 29th. Tickets sold out in about seven seconds and we were unable to score a pair.  I am a huge fan though and will chew my own arm off to be at the show.   Hopefully I can find an alternative to self-mutilation to get tickets, however.  

  • We went to Texas for a week and we got to visit family and friends, eat crawfish, drink Lone Star beer, and visit The Alamo on the 176th anniversary of the famous battle there.  Obviously I realize that The Alamo’s anniversary has absolutely nothing to do with the South Carolina upstate but it was an amazing experience that we will soon tell you about regardless.

  • We want to give a quick congrats to Summa Joe’s for getting much deserved love and attention from Southern Living and Edible Upcountry this month.  This is not just the best restaurant in Anderson but one of our favorites anywhere in the Upstate.  Wherever you are, it is more than worth the drive to Anderson.  Your taste buds will thank you.

  • In the major personal news department, Chris got a new job in Greenville and we will soon be migrating out of Anderson permanently.  We are beyond excited to move to downtown Greenville and I could not be more proud of my super awesome wife.

  • We will soon be receiving about 300 pounds of Big Daddy’s Hot Sauce, which is hands-down the best hot sauce on the planet.  Look for us at the Upstate Chili Cook Off April 14, the Spring Skunk Fest in May, or just shoot us an e-mail if you are interested in getting your hands on a few bottles of the best sauce in the world.

I guess that about covers it for now.  I will now dive into the task of translating a month’s worth of scribbled ramblings from my spiral notebook into our newly reinstalled Microsoft Word.  If I can keep from driving myself nuts trying to decipher my own handwriting, we will be back here soon.  In the meantime, thanks for reading and sticking around.